no casualties please

i-am-charles:

protipss topics in mind for summer

• how to eat the pussy
• beatin it up
• handyjs
• cut songs
• hoes on deck

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aye brah my niggas my gs my locs n my goons, if u gon text a bich a pic of ur dick make it a pic of da jont thru sum fabric. aint nothin sexier den mystery n wit ur shit hidden by da denim of ur jeans or da cotton polyester blend of ur boxer briefs (cuz lets be real here bitches luv a nigga in boxer briefs) da bitches will beg for da rest i promise u dey like 2 b teased dey like to b tantalized. so jus giv em a lil sonzing sonzing ta get da glands waterin n u gud brah.

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yo i got one of them lil email jonts so yall can hit me wit some shit on dat jont

send me ya protips audiobook blog jonts to my email bruh or hit me up on gchat or sumthin bruh man im tryna hear frum da ppl 1 on 1 yall im tryna get sum feed back or jus a lil companionship ya feel me

protipss@gmail.com

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aye yall man i got 2 talk 2 yall bout this man this a fukin shame bruh how do niggas do this for real how can u jus straight up look at urself in da mirror evry mornin noin u aint giv it ur all. man apparently niggas is straight slummin in da pussy just loungin man col fuckin lazy boy chair reclinin watchin da game in da pussy man u got to giv it ur all. bruh go big or go home das wut u gotta do show da bitch wut da pussy game bout bruh its bout show n prove she show u da ass n u prove u can handle it bruh

aight bruh looky here son yung nigga if da bitch offer u da pussy or u subdu it like its jus a wild beast or some shit nigga u in da green go for it bruh but im tellin u if yont let da bitch no who run it den she gon tell u to get packin bruh u gotta make sur that u conquer da pussy n enslav da pussy make it urs brah 7 yrs of indentured servitud my nigga cuz the pussy will liberate itself if it aint tended to my nigga. brah da pussy is w/in ur grasps u gotta take hold brah carpe pussy, seize da pussy nigga u kno who sed dat cicero nigga (shoutouts to ancient rome and da philospher niggas brah dey rly kno dey shit givn us sum truth bombs man).

look alright nigga a bitch cum 2 u 2 be takn car of wethr she tryna fuk or watevr bruh she is relyin on u 2 mak it hapn n 2 be satisfied bruh dis a bisnes n u got 2 giv her ur produc dont b scurd of da pussy nigga u run up on it u got 2 tak charg man sho da pussy dat u kno wut u doin othrwise da bitch is jus gona put u n da fone as “nigga who dont no how 2 werk it”.

aight hers wut u do u tak da pussy rite n jus fuk da bitch brah jus all up in it lik damn nigga demolish da pussy obliterate it paralyze da bitch man. den turn her over brah hit da ass nigga jus straigh work dat shit make it clap on da dik man slap da shit up down sideways brah konami code on da ass bruh n let me tell u dat code werks 4 evrythin bruh even da vendin machine i promis u nigga. man jus beat da pussy man chris brown da shit ike turner bru fuk bobby brown on da pussy mang u cant let da pussy tak ova u u got 2 tak ova da pussy

now a lot of bitches will tell u dat dey want a powr strugl. dey like it wen a nigga tak ctrl but dey wnt sum powr 2 n das cool bruh let her do dat let her snap da dik in half tryna rid da shit like she fukn rodeo clown bruh its kul wuteva but u stil gotta werk it bruh. if she ridin u put ya hands on her hips bruh wen she dip u dip yall dip man (shoutouts 2 nawty by natur i think das dey song iont no but da werds still tru brah) u kno dey say it aint bout da size of da boat but da motion of da ocian but nah its both dawg u got to hav a fukin jont like dey launch planes in da sea type jont but da ocian gotta hav sum fukin typhoon type waves brah jus wreckn evrythin dawg. u stil gota pound da pussy physically assault da pussy evn if u on da botom lil nigga

n specialy wen u on top bruh u gotta werk it man ur stroks got 2 b precise n on point deep strokes hard strokes man da pussy is a boat n u gotta row n its a nigga goin “steeeeeeeeeeroke steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroke” n evrytime nigga hit da roke part u jus BLAM powerbomb da pussy BLAM sweet chin music on da pussy brah BLAMBLAM rock bottom n da pussy (WWE waddap shoutouts 2 da niggas dat made my childhood wut it is n gav me sum ideas on new positions n shit dawg yeah) u got 2 go for gold bru da bitch dont wnt a nigga who dont no wut he doin or aint sur b confident b skrong nigga not strong but skrong nigga flex on da pussy bru

aight man now yall gon head n do ya thizang but jus rember wut i tol u u got 2 b da boss of da pussy monster truk da shit brah jus straight hit da master p ung on da shit brah jus dont b a lame wen it “wutz rly gud?” u feel me aight bru gon head work da bitch son n werk it gud

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sirprincedrewbug asked: I'm not good at tumblr I just found this I wanna make recordings of the protips and feature them on my comedy podcast. Can I get like an email address or something?

aight lil nigga and all other lil niggas and lil bitches out there that’s interested in readin protips mang this what you do.

1. smoke some weed
2. pick a protip
3. read it
4. record it
5. email it to protipss@gmail.com

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i was hoping to get some follower input but imma jus gon head and start making these dramatic readings of protips myself cuz i know yall niggas dont read shit so we got 2 hav audio books

btw thx agin to blogger asian for the first and only user submitted protip reading.

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aight yall im back man forreal this time im a lil rusty so bear wit me on it aight. now yall niggas was fakin on me so i had to wait and accumulate some mental queries on what i was gon deliver unto yall for the new protip. and its the new year yall man we on some whole nother other shit you feel me we gon crank it up a notch in 2012 no holds barred, you feel me.

now i know wen yall hear dis yall gon be like “woah woah woah my nigga hol up das dirty das some straight white folk shit bruh the fuk is you on.” but trust me niggas and lady niggas yall got 2 hear me out wen i say this man. yall talmbout yall a lady in da streets but a freak in da sheets but u aint never let a nigga suck on the booty hole tho? aint even let a nigga get a taste of the booty nectar? das jus a gotdamn shame u a dam lie n u no it.

now it aint dat hard yall jus do lil one two switcharoo and you there. like nigga cmon you down there eatin da pussy like a fuckin ethiopian child just got a care package from his american penpal nigga just gon head slip da tongue out slip da finger in da pussy and slither yo ass down to da durty south my nigga its dat simple. trus me it aint as bad as u think but u gotta mke sur ur bitch is clean bruh mak sur she wash befor u get up in dat cuz one u ther aint no turnin bak u got 2 commit.

now ladies, and maybe even da fellas i no yall freaky 2, yall need to wipe and wash ya ass thuroly okay man pleas do it for me do it for yaself do it for ya gurl but most importantly do it for da lord man. cleanliness is next to godliness so if ur booty hole look like a peruvian slum den nigga u got 2 be sumwhere near osama at da very least and dat nigga is like da antichrist bruh yont wna be there. scrub dat shit clean get all da poo flecks n poo residue (i call it residoodoo) outcha ass bruh n make sur u get up in da hole to u got 2 penetrate bruh got to get up in da shit a finger jus rub it round get da doodoo outcha butt man. wip out da brillo pad mang just scrub dat shit iont care if u got 2 bleed 4 it bruhs and lady bruhs just get it brawny man bald head clean ya got 2. if ya dont aint no body not even ya own dam mama gon wanna see yo ass and i mean ass as a whole like no 1 will associate wit ya cuz ya ass is full a cosby kids man (didnt 1 of dem die? rip to da dead one)

do this and its all gravy cuz mang once u get to da booty bruh omg bruh its like da holy grail da assholey grail my nigga. its da fountain of youth in bootyhole form shawty im tryn tell ya. it dont taste like nothin special but mang da bitch gon go wild. bitch gon go into anaphalactic shock cuz u done tossed a salad so dam  good bruh. n dont be fraid to slip da tung in man its aight aint nothin gon bite aint no monsters or gremlins in der bruh i promise u i aint neva lied 2 u.

u jus eat da ass like u eat da pussy. put sum tung in it a lil finga but use sum lubricant saliva lube lotion vasaline nigga sumthin cuz da booty aint got no natural excrement scept poop so bring ya own wen ya in da coal mines aight cuz shits gon get wild n u aint got time to hit da chinese corna store n figur out wich one best suits ur endeavors for da night. so put a lil spit on ya finger rub it on da outside of da bootyhole den put sum mo on it den slip it right on in. its jus like a real tight pussy nigga so go 2 town on da bitch mang eat da shit like yaint neva even heard of food befor nigga act like u in pie eatin contest nigga kobayashi dat bitch bootyhole u feel me (ayo shoutouts 2 my nigga kobayashi mang da best nigga to eva eat a damn hebrew national wuddup!)

man aint nuthin rong wit da bootyhole i promise da booty nectar will renew and revitalize ya skin and ya pours n shit i red dat shit on like da discuvry channel website or sum shit bruh man and dey cited in mla format so u no its tru bruh so jus dig deep in dat shit mang dont be fraid nigga its a war out here for da pussy n da soldiers das willin to go da xtra mile (or like 1/2 inch to da bootyhole) is gon get da purple heart n maybe da bitch my even drop u sum purple dro 2 nigga ionno yall gon hav 2 negotiate on dat 1 bruh

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wutchall think?

i got some messages (one message to be exact) begging the kid to give up some good new years protips resolutions so heres what im thinking

if yall really want a protip on here, gimme some suggestions.

if not thats cool. i might post one in the next week. somethin real informative and scholarly and shit just like yall like cuz i kno yall been waiting a hot minute for a nigga to drop some knowledge on yall perverted asses

so send your suggestions to:

http://protipss.tumblr.com/ask

or

http://protipss.tumblr.com/submit

and let a nigga know wuts really good

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